There are some important considerations to keep in mind when dealing with a life-altering change that is divorce. One of the big confidence boosts after divorce is an invincible feeling that you have survived change. However, it’s very important to watch what you are changing and at what pace you are making those changes.
Case Study: of one of my clients:
Mary was often accused by her ex-husband as being boring. He was a very sporty guy and she was frankly a bit of a couch potato. Their divorce was acrimonious and Mary was left feeling that no one would ever want her. Rather than turning to a positive Naked Divorce and getting over her divorce and changing in a measured way, Mary decided to become GI Jane and took on a military fitness course – a highly physical training even though she hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in years. Needless to say she fractured her wrist in the first week.
|After Sleeping on it, ask yourself: ‘Is this change measured, healthy, congruent and ethical for myself and others?’|
The moral of the story is that Mary was trying to fix and change being boring in a very ‘crazy’ type of way.
There is no issue with changing your life, but I strongly recommend adding a caveat to all changes by asking ‘Is this change measured, healthy, congruent and ethical?’
Tips for how to recognize when you are going over the top…
- You cannot believe what you are wearing, doing, eating or withholding from yourself
- You’ve become obsessed with your inner thoughts about your ex hearing of the ‘new you’
- You created the ‘new you’ to get your ex’s attention
- More than one friend or family member questions your ‘new look’
- You notice eyebrows rise as you walk in with your new look
- Your food bill has markedly increased or decreased
- You sense people are talking about you – perhaps at work and perhaps too much
- Other aspects of your life are taking second place to the new aspect of you
Are there any drastic changes you are considering making? Notice what is driving you to make these drastic changes and After Sleeping on it, ask yourself: ‘Is this change measured, healthy, congruent and ethical for myself and others?’
WATCH THESE – if concerned, contact your doctor or a good friend today.
Sending you a big hug!